re-focus

As we live life each day, doing the thousands of things we have to do, the thousands of things we want to do, and the all the little things in between, somehow, it is easy to become complacent, forgetting what really matters.

I am guilty of this. I think over the past few months, I have become somewhat apathetic spiritually. Sure, I am active. I go to church every week. I do my callings. I go to church activities. I mostly do the things I should be doing. But sometimes I wonder if I just do it because it's all habit. I know there should be more to it than that.

Today was a great day. It made me truly reflect on what this life really is all about. I haven't had a self-reflection day like this in quite a while. And while I do continue to do the things I know are right, I realized today that I needed to re-focus a little and remember WHY it is that I do the things I do.

Why do I go to church? Why do I fulfill my callings? Why do I pray? Why do I support church leaders? Why do I read my scriptures? Why do I go to the temple?

Not just because I live in Utah and that's what everyone else is doing. Not just because I don't know how to live my life contrary to those practices. Not just because I would feel guilty if I didn't. Not just because I don't want to disappoint my parents.

But because deep within my core, I know that's what I am supposed to be doing. And I know I wouldn't be truly happy otherwise. The bottom line is this--I do know who I am. I do know why I am here. I do know what life is all about. I just needed a little reminder I guess.

As I attended a fireside tonight by Elder Ballard, I was touched by his sweet words:

"My friends, be strong. You know what is right and you know what is wrong. Make a stand for right, even if you have to stand alone. There is no friendship more valuable than a clear conscience."

So true, M. Russell!!! Thanks for that. I needed it.

So, strong I will be, remembering that spirituality is not something I can afford to be apathetic about. To have spiritual apathy is to be unexcited or dispassionate about spiritual matters--and that is not okay with me. I am glad I re-focused today and reminded myself that I need to have a little more zeal, zest, and even a zanier attitude towards maintaining my spirituality.